This is an interview focusing on a simple woman who wanted to be referred to as Anima for a pseudonym to hide her identity. For the sake of hiding her identity, she also requested to not be taken any photographs of either. She had agreed to give the interview beforehand and is aware that this is for academic purposes only.
Anima (48), is a single mother who is a homemaker. She has been living with her daughter for the last 4 years. Ever since her childhood, she has gone through many hardships. Both her and her daughter work hard to support their lives and in this interview she briefly discusses it all. She is an inspiring woman, and her words need to be spread more.
Shreya: Assalamualaikum. How are you doing today?
Anima: Walaikumassalam. I’m doing good, Alhamdulillah. How are you?
Shreya: I’m good too, thank you for asking. Am I catching you in your free time?
Anima: Yes, actually. This is the time of the day when I can sit and enjoy my tea.
Shreya: What else do you do during this time?
Anima: Honestly I sit on my back and rest on the couch as I scroll through Facebook, checking notifications from all of my friends. They actually get mad at me for not responding immediately so I usually start off by apologizing and then peer pressure them into talking about childhood memories.
Shreya: That’s lovely! So you have a lot of childhood memories? Anything specific to share?
Anima: Oh yes, tons! I have an emotional and strong attachment to my childhood. More often than not, I speak of different incidents from that time of my life, especially with my child. I can come off as annoying, but I love talking about it. It really takes me back and I wish I never grew up.
I grew up mostly surrounded by my maternal family. They have given me a religious atmosphere with enough freedom to express myself but with some boundaries. As a girl in our society, we are always limited by our loved ones, let alone strangers. Although my grandfather was the only person to prioritize me, even he could not protect me. I was married off quite young. I wish I could continue my studies like I was promised, but childhood was over with that.
Shreya: You were speaking about sharing stories with your child. You have only one child?
Anima: To tell you the truth, I have two children; both of them are daughters. I was forcefully married once and had a child there. We barely talk now. After I got a divorce due to complications, my family pressured me into marrying again. I was made to feel like a burden. That is why this time I was married off under consideration, which in turn was a whole list of lies too. He was the age of my uncle, who continuously cheated and divorced and even murdered one of his previous wives. By the time I learned the truth, I already bore another child and I didn’t want my second child to live in a broken household.
Shreya: How did you overcome the troubles of your second marriage?
Anima: Sometimes I kept my mouth shut and acted naive, but as time passed by I grew more rebelious. I always used to be tortured physically, and it grew worse as our daughter became a teenager. We were to separate multiple times, but he would always somehow convince me to stay. By the time my daughter was done with her A levels, I had to file a case and then we got kicked out of the house. My daughter and I have been homeless, and penniless. Even though that was the end of my marriage, our troubles didn’t completely go away. We are still struggling, but with different priorities in life at the moment.
Shreya: What is your living situation at the moment?
Anima: My daughter works very hard, trying to keep her education. I try my best to support her, and work part-time here and there. But she mostly brings in the earnings.
Shreya: What is life like at the moment for you two?
Anima: It is very tough to survive in a society that only looks for your mistakes. It is just the two of us. My daughter and I live in an apartment. We both work hard to stay afloat and try to stay out of the prying eyes of our neighbors. I don’t like personal interference as it makes me insecure.
Shreya: Do you have family support?
Anima: To some extent, yes. However, it is not enough because support from loved ones needs to be consistent. I might sound selfish but it is what reality is like. If I go homeless tonight, yes they will ask me to come and stay. But for how long? They will neither ask me to leave their place, nor will they feel comfortable having me around. They won’t even help me in looking for a new place. I have a nice family but no matter how much I’ve tried reaching out to them, I have always had to take charge in making things better for me and my daughter.
Shreya: Where do you see yourself in a few years?
Anima: I see myself living on my own perhaps. I mainly hope to see my daughter successful. She keeps hustling and tries chasing her dreams while pursuing it all. If she’s happy in life, so will I be. I have nothing more to ask from life.
Shreya: You are very inspirational. May every child have a strong mother like you. Thank you for giving me time today for the interview.
Anima: It is alright. Thanks for listening to me patiently as well.